Jar of Hearts
by MalfoysBtch22
Summary: Matt witnesses somthing that tears his heart apart.He saw Mello, his Mello, kissing another man. Written while listening to Jar of Hearts - Not a Song Fic
1. Chapter 1

Matt pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled a cloud of toxic smoke. He drove terribly fast down the seemingly unused roads toward the abandoned warehouse which his best friend and lover Mello had claimed as his Mafia base.

Mello had left their small decrepit apartment that morning without his chocolate and he knew that the blonde would be extremely irritable all day and come home and take it out on him so he would rather avoid all of that and just bring it to him. Sure he felt like his worried wife but really he was just being selfish, right? He pulled around to the back of the warehouse slamming on his brakes and pulling into a makeshift spot. He pulled the key from ignition and got out of the car walking to the side entrance. He knew it would be heavily guarded but he knew he wouldn't have any trouble, being the groups hacker and all. Sure he didn't come in much being that he could do all his work from home which he preferred seeing as he hated the outdoors but it was probably hard to forget the kid with the striped shirt, heavy black combat boots, a fur vest, and orange goggles. Matt walked up to the door a paper bag full of chocolate in his right hand and his cigarette in his left. The big man at the door looked at him his hand going to the waist of his pants where Matt reasoned his gun was lurking.

"I'm here to see Mello." Matt said easily.

"You're his hacker friend right?" He asked looking confused and more stupid by the second.

"Yep, that's me." Matt smiled.

"Alright, last I saw him he was in his office." He said before entering the code and stepping aside to allow him entrance.

"Thanks." Matt said before walking inside and down the hallway, up the long line of stairwells to where Mello's "office" was hidden. If he could find Mello he supposed he'd just leave his package on his desk and hope he found it. He hoped he did. He and Mello had barely spent any time together recently and Matt sure as hell didn't want to spend it fighting. He rounded the corner to the large room where Mello's office was hidden. He heard mangled voices, one of which definatly belonged to Mello. Matt smiled and began walking toward the voice. Mellos back was turned toward him and as soon as Matt's eyes locked on that head of perfect blonde hair and his heart fluttered a bit.

"Stop that," he muttered to his heart.

Mello was talking closely to a much taller handsome man with sleek black hair. They were talking quietly and Matt couldn't hear what they were saying. He took one step forward and then his heart froze in his chest. The man had placed his large hand on Mello's face tilting it upward, then his lips descended down on Mello's. His knuckles tightened and his blood pulsed with rage. How dare this man touch Mello and think he can get away with it.

_Come on Mels push him away, punch him in the face, shoot him, anything… _

Mello just stood there and let the man kiss him. Matt's whole body felt frozen. Mello's arm came up and went behind the man's head. Matt's heart ached in his chest. He felt a searing pain shoot up and down his body. _Mello… his Mello was kissing another man… by choice. _

He felt warmth at his eyes and it took him a few seconds to realize he was crying… He backed away horrified. He tried to be quiet as to not disturb the couple. The bag of chocolate dropped from his hand and he ran. He ran as fast as he could away from what he saw only knowing he could never forget.

_His Mello, his best friend, his lover, his other half, oh god…_

_AN/ Oh my god poor Matt, I am an extremely horrible person for writing this. Well that's part one there is most likely more to come, review keep me going _


	2. Just a Hacker

Mello got off his motorcycle and removed his helmet. He looked up at the small worn-down apartment. He dropped his head and starred down at his leather-gloved hands. He sighed before talking up the stairs. He reached into his jacket pulling the key from his pocket. He placed it into the keyhole and pulled the door open the hinges making a low screeching sound of protest. He closed the door behind him lifting his head finding Matt sitting on the couch surrounded by computers his finger rapping against the keys with vigor. His heart clenched with guilt once more. He looked down composing himself.

"Hey." He said walking closer to the redhead. He gained no reply. He must be to busy Mello reasoned. He went around the couch behind Matt looking over his shoulder. Matt had hacked 7 of the 9 sites Mello had wanted him to hack by Friday and it was only Tuesday.

"Well someone's been busy." Mello said placing a hand on Matt's shoulder forcing himself to smile he felt Matt pull away slightly he felt surprise run through him. Matt normally craved his touch, thrived on it. A frown found its way onto Mello's lips. "Matt?" There was a moment of silence.

"I was trying to be useful." Mello's blonde brows drew together. There was something wrong with Matt's voice. It wasn't him. It reminded Mello of someone he hated… Near…

"What do you mean useful?" Mello demanded.

"It's what I'm here for isn't it Mels? To be useful to you."

"What the hell are you talking about Matt?" Mello asked incredulously. There was silence all except for the sound of Matt's typing fingers. Mello moved around the couch and pulled the laptop from Matt's lap, closing it and throwing it onto the large chair beside the couch. Matt still looked down at his knees. "What the fucks wrong with you?" Mello said becoming angry, as he always did. It was knee jerk reaction to thing he didn't like or understand. In this case it was both.

"You know… oh never mind." Matt said shaking his head a small smile on his lips.

"What!" Mello was becoming livid. He didn't like this. He didn't like this one bit.

"Never mind, it's-it's stupid." Matt said he could feel his eyes begin to water inside his goggles.

"Say it! If you've got something to say, say it!" Mello hissed. Matt breathed in and out slowly. He finally lifted his head. He always wore his goggles out of fear of people seeing what he was thinking and he was never more thankful for them then that moment.

"I was just thinking… when I left Whammys and came after you I couldn't wait to see you, to be near you, to hold you, to-to kiss you." His vice broke and he had to breathe in and collect himself before continuing. Mello just stood there feeling confused and angry, he half wanted to stop the red-head from speaking and half wanted to hear what he had to say. "I thought I'd find you and we'd be together like the old days. I'd help you catch Kira and we'd be together forever. Childish thoughts I know." He laughed softly, a cold dead sound it was, it made Mello shiver. "But the one thing I never thought, was that I would end up a little pawn on your chess board."

Mello stood his eyebrows drawn together and his fists clenched tight. "Matt… What the fuck is in those cigarettes your smoking?"

Matt laughed that cold dead laugh again. "I knew you would say something like that."

_Where the fuck is all this coming from? _

"Maybe I left you home alone too much." Mello laughed. The blonde's fingers toyed with his rosary, the only sign that he was becoming very scared by his redheads behavior. Then there was silence. Matt dropped his head again, his shoulders slouching.

"…Why?" Matt whispered his voice raw.

"Why what?" Mello demanded hoping for some answers his brain in a whirl.

"I saw you." Matt whispered once more his heart wrenching.

"Saw me what?" Mello hissed closing in on Matt's personal space.

"He kissed you… and you-you did nothing… you kissed him back." Matt said his voice laced with pained.

Mello's world stopped. Matt… Matt had seen… Matt had seen everything. Then it clicked. The paper bag he found. The bag full of chocolate that he had found in the hallway. Matt had come to bring it to him. Matt had seen. Matt…

"M-Matt… I can explain, I-." Mello stuttered reaching out a hand to touch Matts face. Matt gently pushed Mello's hand away.

"No need Mello. I already packed all of my stuff. And if you'll let me I'll just finish up the last to sites you wanted done. I wouldn't want to leave them unfinished." Matt tried to smile up at the blonde.

"Matt it's not like that. I swear its not-not." Mello tried to get the words out but his brain as so jumbled he could not.

"Please Mello, don't insult my intelligence. I may not be up with you and Near but I know what I saw." Matt said grimly. He knew what he saw it had been running through his mind hour after hour, minute after minute since it'd happen. "Now I'm going to finish this in our room you can sleep out here. I'll be gone out of your hair in the morning, this way you can start looking for a new hacker and he can start fresh from where I left off." Matt made his voice detached as he lifted himself from the couch and went over to retrieve the laptop. He walked slowly around Mello who just stood staring out into space. He stepped lightly to the door to the bedroom. He opened it quietly before stepping inside. As the door closed Matt could have sworn that he heard a choked sob. But that didn't make sense, Mello didn't cry and what reason would he have to cry over Matt, he was nothing, he was his hacker… he was nothing.

AN/ OMG that is the saddest thing I have ever written. I hope you like it. The three quick reviews I got made me want to write this chapter immediately. So thanks guys Review they REALLY do inspire me.


	3. Chapter 3

It was exactly 7 am. Matt lay on his side looking out the window, the sun was bright and shining and the room was comfortably warm but Matt and never felt so dark and cold. He had not slept all night. He couldn't not with the knowledge he had obtained and the thoughts of what was coming. Oh god his heart didn't just hurt it throbbed. His face felt as if it were made of plaster, frozen with the salt of dry tears. Matt had spent two hours finishing up his hacking for (he couldn't even think the name, it hurt too much) and the other half lying on his side letting the tears tumble down his face and onto the pillow, the pillow smelt of _him_; chocolate, leather, gun powder, and the strangest hint of cinnamon, it was intoxicating. Even as his thoughts went to him he found he could no longer cry, it was as if he had gone dry.

He took one more long inhale of the pillow before pulling himself from the bed. His body fought to stay, his mind told him no, this was the right thing. Mello (he lied, a single tear made its way down his face) was using him. Matt, was by far the best hacker he could find. He would keep him by any means necessary even if that meant making Matt believe that he loved him. That was just the way Mello was. Anything to beat Near. Near, it's always been about him, never about Matt. Matt walked to the bathroom and starred into the mirror. He looked like death twice over. His viridian eyes were red and blood shot and the skin all around them was blotchy and puffed up. There were fresh and dried tear track painted down his face. Matt quickly washed his face and brushed his teeth. He walked slowly to the bedside table and placed his goggles over his eyes. He knew if Mello was awake he would need them for the fight that Mello would most likely impose. He walked over to where he'd had packed up a large shoulder bag and lifted it onto his back. He took one more look around the room that held so many memories good and bad.

_The first night when Matt had finally found Mello by hacking into the system and finding Mello's phone code. It wasn't easy because Mello was not in the system by any recognizable name. Matt had to go through phone records, conversations, locations, and finally he had found what he wanted. A phone issued to a _Mels Meehl. _It was Matt's joking nickname when they were younger mixed with the first letter of his first name and his last name. It was almost as if Mello wanted Matt to be able to find him. When Matt tracked Mello's phone to the beat down apartment Mello was living in alone. Matt couldn't control his breathing as he trampled up the steps to the door. He knocked on the door and he was surprised to find a gun to his face held by new but welcome leather incased blonde. Mello's eyes widened at his took in the red hair and goggles. The gun dropped on its own accord before Mello was leapt upon by an ecstatic gamer. Their lips were smashed together. After Matt growled,"Don't you ever fucking leave me again Mihael Keehl." The blonde to in shock to respond verbally so he simply pulled Matt inside and dominated the kiss as he always did. Mello swapped their positions and pushed Matt toward the bedroom. Matt let him, he was so enrapt by the taste of his blonde, he tasted the same as he did back at Whammys, he always tasted of chocolate, he was comforted in the fact that, that hadn't changed. Mello slammed Matt against the door and ravaged his mouth with his tongue and Matt did nothing but whimper and try to push himself closer. God he loved him so much. Mello pushed him onto the bed and Matt starred up at the beautiful god that was his Mello. He had grown so much but his sparkling blue eyes clouded with lust hadn't changed. Matt could have sworn that in those eyes he saw more then lust but he knew know it was only a trick of the light. That night Mello and he became one once more. With Mello sheathed inside him it felt as if nothing could touch them, they just climbed higher and higher into an oblivion of pleasure. _

As Matt starred down at the bed and the memory ran fully through his mind he held in another sob. He closed his eyes and stormed toward the door. He opened it as quietly as he could. He stepped softly into the mall living room. He could only see the back of the large couch. He crept as lightly as he could toward the front door just incase Mello was asleep. As he reached the door he couldn't help but look back. There Mello was in all his glory fast asleep. Matt couldn't help the rush of pain he felt. While he had spent the whole night awake and holding in his pathetic sobs the man he loved with his whole heart and soul had slept soundly. He gazed at the beautiful blonde with such longing. He couldn't help himself he quietly placed his bag down and made his way toward the other boy. He knelt down beside him.

He looked so perfect and innocent when he slept. How could this angel ever use him so fully and betray him so easily when he had given him everything he had to give. "Mello, what did I do wrong? Was I to clingy? Was I not a good lover?" Matt felt his eyes well with tears once more. "Was he better? Was it just a kiss? Or were you inside him? Did you hold back your cry's of passion with me because you feared calling out his name instead of mine?" Matt rasped out. These thoughts had been plaguing him all night, he had to get them out for fear of imploding. "God Mihael, I love you so much, can't you see that? Or do you just not care? Maybe you knew and delighted in the fact that I would die for you without a second thought." Matt reached out to brush a stray hair from Mello's perfect face. Mello stirred slightly. Matt pulled his hand away and lifted himself from his kneeling position standing over the other boy committing the image to memory.

"I love you Mihael Keehl…" He trailed off becoming choked. "I just wish I could have meant more to you." He walked over and collected his stuff before opening the door quietly. He looked back only once before finally shutting the door behind him.

AN/ OMG this is angst city but for some reason I am enjoying writing it so much. Review their really inspiring me!


	4. Too Late

When Mello woke he was very disorientated. His back hurt and his first thought was did him and Matt have another rough night? Then he shifted his body and felt leather rub leather. He was on the couch? Why? Then his sapphire eyes flew open. Matt! He had fallen asleep… when? He had spent the whole night planning what he would say to the redhead when he attempted to walk out that door. He then remembered putting his back and resting for a moment, then nothing.

_No… No, no, no! _Mello leapt of the couch and sprinted to the bedroom. He clenched his rosary and prayed to god that he'd find the redhead curled up fast asleep in their bed. The door was wide open and Mello felt fear creep into his veins. He slowed his pace dreading walking through that door. He finally found himself at the door. He glanced inside and his heart dropped. Empty. The bed was empty.

_Matt is… Matt is gone. _Mello's hand clenched into a fist.

"FUCK!" Mello screamed lashing out and punching the wall. He barley felt the shooting pain of his bones breaking. He dropped to his knees and grabbed onto his hair with his good hand. He felt pain of another kind course through his veins and into his heart like poison. He shortly wondered if Kira had found out his real name and was killing him with a heart attack. His eyes began to sting and his breathing picked up. He had lost the only person he had ever cared about. He had hurt him, he drove him away, and on top of all that he fucked up and didn't have the chance to try and change his mind.

"Fucking hell Matt, I loved you so much!" Mello gritted out through shaking sobs. "But it's too late now isn't it?"

_I'm too late…_

_AN/ I know its short but I just wanted to show Mello's reaction before we move on with the story _


	5. The Call: Part 1

It was three months since Matt had left his heart in that broken down apartment. Things had not gotten any better for the red haired gamer. He got a small equally beaten down apartment only thirty minutes away, he couldn't make himself go any further. Being away from Mello was hard enough, moving further away just wasn't an option. The neighborhood he now lived in was horrible he heard at least one gun shot every night and for some reason every time he heard them what he felt wasn't fear, it was longing. Longing to go back to his own gun wielding blonde. Could he do that? Would Mello even take him back after having left him?

_No, that's not an option Mello didn't care, Mello used me. Mello had pressed himself against that bastard, twined his beautiful hands in his hair, knowing or at least thinking I was home working for him, waiting with bated breath for when he would walk through that door._

Matt hadn't cried since he left the apartment. His heart no longer felt like it was being stabbed but when he wasn't thrown into hacking for an anonymous anarchy group, or gaming until his eyes closed on their own accord, there was always still this ache that always seemed to pound in his heart in time with its beats. He was empty inside, a shell. He ate when he was hungry and bathed when he felt dirty. He did the bare minimum that was needed to stay alive.

_Alive, is that what they call this?_

He often wondered if that man had moved into their apartment, or if Mello had moved in with him. Did Mello sleep beside him face pressed against the man's neck as he did with Matt. Did they make love, or did they just fuck? Matt now knew that he had misconstrued what they did as making love was simply that, fucking. He didn't understand how someone who was number three at Whammys could be so stupid and gullible. But then again there was that statement, blinded by love. Yes, he was blinded by Mello. His charisma, his fiery nature, his perfect body and beautiful angel like face, his taste, his wit, everything that Mello was and did entranced Matt until he couldn't see anything until it slapped him in the face. Matt leaned back against the wall hitting the back of his head a few times.

_So stupid… And yet I still love him. God I love him so much. Even apart he still owns me body, mind, and soul. I'll never be rid of his hold, even in death. I might as well get his name burned into my flesh. _

He slammed his head back into the wall trying to jar his thoughts back onto the hack he had been working on since he'd woken up. He'd barely gotten anywhere with it and it was now eleven o'clock at night, sure he'd woken up at three but it still went to show how without Mello he was completely un-driven. He pulled himself up and walked to the kitchen. He pulled his pack from his pocket and drew out one cigarette and placed it between his dry lips. He lit it and inhaled a well-needed drag. He heard his phone ring in the other room. It was probably the anonymous leader of the anarchy group checking up on his latest assignment. He didn't care that he didn't know the guys name or face as long as his check came in the mail every week. With the salary he was making he could easily buy a better apartment in a better area but what was the point he would still be doing the same thing he was doing now only in a nicer environment… and further away from Mello. He pushed off the wall he was leaning on and went over to his phone. He debated not answering it considering he had nothing good to report. He lifted the phone from the floor and his cigarette tumbled from his mouth and landed on the floor, he quickly stomped out before it could cause a fire. The name flashing on the front screen… Mels Meehl…

AN/ DUN DUN DUN! This is part one of this chapter the second will be posted either later today or early tomarrow. Reviews please, I'm truly a glutton in that sense, they inspire me and make me smile


	6. The Call: Part 2

Matt battled with himself internally. If he answered then that made him weak didn't it? The phone continued to ring in the palm of his hand. No he couldn't answer it. It went against all the so called progress he had made. So he let the phone keep ringing still feeling oh so tempted to flip it open, just t to hear that deep sensual voice he knew would come from the other side. The ringing ceased and Matt's heart clenched up. He almost prayed it would ring again. Matt continued to stare at the phone and debate if he had done the right thing. Then there was a beep. He had left a voice mail? Mello never left voice mails his code had always been if the person hadn't picked up they obviously weren't worth talking to. Matt flipped the phone open and went to his mailbox punching in his password as fast as he could. He pressed the phone to his ear and didn't dare to breath.

"You have 1 new message.) The robotic voice said.

_Shut up and get on with it!_

"First message." Matt's heart thumped loudly in his chest.

All he heard at first was hard heavy breathing.

_What did he call me while having sex to just rub it in my face?_

"M-Matt," Oh god that voice, that fucking voice. "I'm hurt bad." There was a harsh wheezing cough. "Please Matt, help me."

"End of message to erase this message press 7 to save it press 9 to hear more options press 0." The phone said from the floor.

Matt was already at the door laptop under one arm and keys in hand. He ran down the stairs and threw open the door before climbing in. He easily hacked the phone system and pinpointed Mello's location. He was at the mafia hideout. Matt slammed the keys in the ignition and before he knew it he was flying down the streets at full speed. There was a red light and flew right through it. He knew it wouldn't be good if a cop pulled him over but he just had to get there. Mello was hurt and he needed Matt's help. Mello was an extremely proud and stubborn person he must be really hurt if he was asking for help from someone who left him. Matt finally came down the abandoned road to the hideout and his eyes widened behind his goggles. The whole place was in flames. Cop cars surrounded the building. This wasn't going to be easy but Matt refused to let doubt into his heart. He was gonna save Mello even if it killed him.

He got out of the car and ran toward the building. He went around the back to the secret underground entrance only the people on the inside would know about. He pulled up the cellar door and jumped inside. The smoke was raw and harsh and made Matt think shortly about the amount of this shit he put into his body daily by choice. He had to find Mello, he just had too! He figured that Mello would be near his office he very rarely left. He ran up the stairs and looked up the ceiling was defiantly gonna give soon.

"Fuck!" He ran even faster once he rounded the corner he saw so many dead bodies. He finally reached the stairwell to Mello's "office" he ran as fast as he could manage the some was making his lungs burn and the heat of the building was starting to make him sweat. He looked around and screamed for the blonde. What if he was too late?

_No I can't think like that!_

Then he saw it the only person wearing a gas mask. Matt ran to that person's side and pushed all the rubble off of them. Although the person was covered in ash and grime the wisps of blonde hair were still visible. Mello's eyes were closed and one hand was clenched around his rosary. Matt lifted the blondes head. He saw the side of Mello's face was completely burnt the skin was bloody and the flesh bubbled up, it extended down his neck and onto his shoulder.

"Mello," Matt whispered tears in his eyes. Mello opened his good eye and gazed up at him.

"Matt, you came." Mello rasped.

"Of course I came you stupid bastard!" Matt yelled tears trickling down his face.

"I didn't think, I didn't think you would…" Mello smiled slightly before his eyes closed and his lips fell parted.

"Mello… Mello! You have to stay awake!" Matt shook his good shoulder. He glanced around before deciding that he would have to carry Mello out on his back. "I know it hurts to move Mels but we need to get out of here." Matt said pulling lifting Mello up. Mello opened one eye once more but it was clouded with sleep. "Wrap your arm around my neck." Mello did as he was told. Matt pulled him to his feet. "Okay let's go." He pulled the slumping Mello down the stairs trying to keep him steady. Mello gritted his teeth and kept moving. He brought Mello down into the cellar. "Okay we're almost there." Matt said pulling Mello up the stairs.

"Matt if I don't make it, just know that I love you." Mello whispered his head lolling to the side.

"Shut the fuck up Mello you're gonna make it. Stop talking crazy!" Matt said. Matt didn't know which part was crazier, that he accepted he might die, or that he said he loved him.

They made it to the car and Matt leaned Mello against the car while he opened the door and pushed the seat back. He looked over just in time to see the ceiling give and watch the whole building go down in ruins. They'd made it.


	7. Say My Name

Mello opened one eye because that's all he could do. The blinding white light made him clench it back. He could not believe the pain running through his body in rivulets. He forced his eye back open and he blinked back the white light until he could see. He was in an unfamiliar black bed in an empty dingy white room. The only thing other then the bed was a small TV hooked up to a wide verity of gaming systems. He glanced around gritting his teeth in pain. He reached his left hand up to his face. The entire right side of his was wrapped in gauze and when he touched it he felt a searing pulsing pain. He then tried to recall what had put him in this state. He remembered quite suddenly… The man, the man with the death note who knew his real name. He had to blow up the hide out to get out alive but he had to do it with himself inside. He remembered the blow and the flames from the explosion throwing him burning into a wall. He had blacked out for a few moments before regaining conciseness. His first thought was his safety the second was the fact he might never get to see Matt again. It couldn't end like that. He found the strength to dig into his pocket and call Matt and practically beg for help. And… Matt had come… Even after what he had seen and what had occurred between the two of them… he still came. That must mean the room he now found himself in must be Matt's. Oh yes it was Matt's, over the smells of his own burnt flesh he could smell cigarettes and peppermint. Mello took a deep inhale, at his own home that smell had vanished and Mello had missed it, oh how he had missed it. Back when Matt had still lived with him he had often bitched about his smoking but living alone he almost took up the habit himself just so he could surround himself with that smell again. He heard something clatter somewhat closely.

"Shit!" A voice hissed under its breath. Matt always had been clumsy.

"Matt." Mello rasped. All the clattering and cursing came to a stop. He heard slow footsteps making their way closer. Matt stood in the doorway staring at him through his orange tinted goggles.

"So you're finally awake." Matt seemed to take a long inhale.

"So it seems." Mello coughed and it hurt.

"How are you feeling?" Matt made his way over to Mello's bedside.

"I've been better." Mello gritted out clenching the bed sheets.

"I imagine." Matt nodded looking away.

"How bad am I burnt?" Mello asked bluntly.

"Not too bad. I cleaned it all up so it shouldn't get infected but… it's defiantly going to scar." Matt said softly.

"I know that much." Mello hissed annoyed.

"Alright." Matt moved to get up.

"No, Matt I'm sorry don't go." Mello looked up at him with one pleading eye.

"I was going to get you something to put in your stomach. You've been out for three days you're most likely dehydrated and hungry, you just don't know it yet." Matt got up at walked back out. Mello didn't like the sound of detachment in Matt's voice. It was almost as if this was a job and he had no feeling about it. Maybe that was the way he viewed it. Mello waited pondering about this until Matt returned. He held a bottle of water in one hand and a bowl in the other. Mello rolled his tongue around his mouth and realized how thirsty he was. Matt came and sat at his bed side.

"Here." He put the bottle to Mello's lips and tipped it back. Mello felt like a child and he hated it.

"What's in the bowl?" Mello asked softly reached up to wipe some of the water that had escaped away.

"Melted chocolate." Matt blushed slightly. Mello starred up at him in surprise and a small feeling of happiness flitted through Mello's chest. "It will be easy for you to swallow and it will get the much need sugar and shit into your system." Matt explained misreading the way Mello was looking at him.

"Okay." Matt spooned the chocolate into Mello's mouth. Mello savored the taste on his tongue before swallowing and opening his mouth for more. Matt held back a smile at just how cute and childlike his rough tough Mello looked at the moment. Wait… not his. Not anymore. Mello finished his meal and laid his tired head back down.

"You should sleep more now that we got something in you." Matt said getting up.

"I missed you," Mello said softly as Matt made his way to the door.

"Couldn't find a better hacker huh?" Matt said before he could help himself. Mello was injured and didn't need the extra stress.

"I missed _you _Mail. Not what you can offer me." Matt stopped moving at the use of his real name.

"Mello now isn't the time to talk about this. You need rest." Matt said softly looking back at the injured boy who still managed to look beautiful all wrapped up in bandages.

"Call me by my real name, just once. I've missed it so much. It was always Mello this and Mello that. I missed your voice, I missed your voice saying my name…" Matt almost broke right then and there.

"Go to sleep Mihael." Matt said before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

AN/ Awww what is this vulnerable Mello and strong Matt? What's going on here! Well we'll see how this works out. REVIEW


	8. Bastard

Matt sat in the living room attempting to play his game. He had already beaten it three times but he wasn't looking for a challenge. Mello and him had barely spoken in the past week mostly because Matt had been avoiding that room like the plague accept for when he brought Mello his food and water. Mello would try to talk to him but he'd just make up some excuse and leave. He sighed, seeing Mello in such a state scared him more then he'd ever admit out loud. His big brave crazy Mello laying in bed afraid of moving, out of the pain it caused. He pulled another drag from his cigarette and let it out slowly. He couldn't focus on much of anything with Mello just so damned close, he could barely focus when he was 30 minutes away but now… it was impossible.

Suddenly he heard the sound of a scream. Matt bolted up and made his way to the bedroom. He opened the door slowly and to his shock and disbelief the bed was empty. He looked around frazzled until he saw the light of the bathroom was on. Stupid impossible stubborn Mello! He walked quickly to the door and opened it slowly. Once he opened it he saw Mello dart and direct his body toward the wall slamming the side of his fist into it.

"Mello…?" Matt said softly making his way toward the blonde. Matt raised a hand toward his shoulder.

"Don't!" Mello hissed loudly. Matt withdrew his hand, hurt.

"Mello what's wrong?" Matt whispered.

"What's wrong? That's a laugh." Mello laughed coldly.

"Mello look at me." Matt gripped his shoulder and went to turn him around.

"Don't! Don't look at me!" Mello yelled ducking his head.

"Why?" Matt asked trying to keep his hand on Mello's shoulder loving the feel of his skin.

"I'm hideous…" Matt felt Mello's body shudder.

"Mello you could never be anything less than beautiful." Matt said softly his cheeks flaming red.

"Oh really?" Mello sneered whipping around exposing himself to Matt. Matt didn't bat an eye. The quickly scarring pink tissue caking the side of Mello's otherwise flawless face disturbed him much less then the tears in Mello's normally cold blue eyes.

"Really." Matt reached out a hand and as gently as he could he traced Mello's scar from the top of his face down his shoulder.

"You are beautiful Mello, always have been, always will be… at least to me." Matt dropped his hand and head in shame. His true feelings were finally breaking through and Matt felt like crying once more.

"Matt. Matt!" Mello hissed.

"What Mello?" Matt asked softly looking into his ex-lovers eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you. I never thought you'd find out and I'd be able to find a solution to the problem on my own, and in a way I did. The bastards dead along with the rest of the Mafia." Mello said venomously.

"W-what?" Matt stuttered.

"He had come by our apartment to drop something off to me, he had looked through the window to see if I was home and he saw us playing tonsil hockey on the couch. He said he could ruin my

reputation in the mafia, I'd probably be killed by them, you as well. Then he said it was a pity to waste such a 'pretty little boy'. He told me if I played his game then he'd keep it a secret. I had no choice at the moment. Matt god, I love you so much. You are my life. I have been so, so miserable without you." He grasped Matt's face in his hands and looked into the shocked goggle covered eyes.

"You never loved him?" Matt said breathed out.

"No, never." Mello said stroking Matt's bottom lip.

"Oh Mello!" Matt pushed forward and pressed their lips together in the most beautiful reunion the world had ever known.

AN/ All I have to say is… AWWWWWWW and REVIEEEEW


End file.
